


unexpected plans

by sxftmelody



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Drabble, F/F, Happy Ending, merry chrismer, sort of angst?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 03:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17154830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxftmelody/pseuds/sxftmelody
Summary: Jungeun shows up at Jinsol's house on Christmas Day.





	unexpected plans

**Author's Note:**

> merry chrismer

_ This is okay _ , Jinsol thinks to herself as she wakes up alone on Christmas Day.

 

She’s been expecting this, after all. It’s not like she can suddenly make friends appear out of thin-air. Most of the people she does consider friends have their own families and their own friends to spend the day with.

 

Jinsol does not.

 

And that’s okay.

 

She walks out of her bedroom tiredly and drags her feet to the kitchen. She passes by the living room and tries to ignore how brightly her Christmas tree is shining. Jinsol sighs, remembering how Sooyoung and Jiwoo had come over unexpectedly one day with decorations,  _ urging _ Jinsol to get festive.

 

She played along for them, because they were happy seeing her make an effort.

 

Jinsol starts up her coffee machine and leans back against the counter, crossing her arms.

 

_ It hadn’t always been  _ **_this_ ** _ lonely… had it? _

 

She’d spent last Christmas with Jiwoo and her family—all of her cousins and siblings being about as loud and energetic as Jiwoo herself. It had been a fun time, and it had  _ definitely _ beat spending the day alone—but Jiwoo’s spending this Christmas with Sooyoung’s family (they’ve gotten to  _ that _ point in their relationship) and Jinsol didn’t want to be the awkward third wheel.

 

She lied to them, actually. She said that she had plans and that she’d be okay.

 

The only plans she really has is to head into the office and do some paperwork.

 

When the coffee machine beeps and signals that it’s all done preparing her drink, Jinsol takes the mug into her hands, relishing in its warmth.

 

She checks her phone, smiling when she sees two texts. One from Sooyoung. One from Jiwoo.

 

Both of them had the same jist; telling Jinsol that she loves her and ‘Merry Christmas!’

 

Jinsol snorts.

 

It doesn’t feel very merry.

 

Nonetheless, she sends heart emojis back to them and tells them ‘Merry Christmas!’, because she’s not one to  _ openly _ discuss just how much of a grinch she feels like.

 

Jinsol heads into the living room and sits down. She stares at the tree, at the various presents she has underneath them (given to her by her employees). She knows that they’re all probably just boxes of wine or chocolate, but she thinks having them under there makes everything seem a little less… dead.

 

Another sigh leaves her lips as she leans back into the couch and takes careful sips of her hot coffee. She turns her TV on and figures it wouldn’t hurt to watch one old Christmas movie—for old time’s sake.

 

-

 

Half-way into her third Christmas movie, the doorbell rings.

 

Jinsol, with the empty coffee mug in her lap, stands up with a bit of a scowl on her face. 

 

_ If these are a bunch of carolers… _

 

She sets the cup on the table and heads to the door.

 

When she opens it, her jaw drops in surprise.

 

“Hey…” the blonde-haired girl says quietly.

 

Jinsol’s eyes widen, “Jungeun?”

 

The said woman smiles awkwardly, “That’s me.”

 

“What…” Jinsol trails off, unable to produce a proper sentence without the thoughts in her brain jumbling up altogether, “What are you doing here?”

 

“Uhm…” Jungeun mumbles. Her eyes flicker to the ground, and then she looks back up at Jinsol, “I don’t know, really.”

 

It’s an awkward few seconds, and then Jinsol spots Jungeun shivering from the cold wind. She realizes it’s  _ snowing _ , and she opens the door wider.

 

“We can talk inside where it’s not freezing,” she says.

 

Jungeun’s smile widens the tiniest bit, “Thanks.”

 

-

 

As Jinsol stands in the kitchen alone, preparing another cup of coffee for both Jungeun and herself, she tries to gather her thoughts.

 

Jungeun, her ex-girlfriend, has shown up to her house unexpectedly on Christmas Day.

 

Jungeun, who Jinsol’s relationship with had been four years, is currently sat in her living room.

 

Jungeun, who Jinsol’s haven’t seen in five years, still manages to make Jinsol’s heart race.

 

“Shit,” Jinsol whispers to herself as the coffee machine beeps.

 

-

 

“Here,” Jinsol holds out the cup to Jungeun, “careful—it’s hot.”

 

“Thanks,” Jungeun says gratefully, watching as Jinsol sits on the couch, leaving a hefty amount of space between them.

 

“So,” Jinsol says, trying to get straight to the point.

 

“So,” Jungeun replies.

 

…

 

“Merry Christmas…?” Jinsol tries.

 

Jungeun lets out a small laugh, nodding, “Merry Christmas to you, too, Jinsol.”

 

Jinsol’s stomach flutters at the noise. She coughs, “What’s made you stop by all of a sudden?”

 

Jungeun wraps both hands around the cup as she shrugs, “I was just… in the neighborhood.”

 

“Were you really?” Jinsol questions, skeptical.

 

“No, not at all,” Jungeun laughs again, though this time it’s more of an embarrassed one, “I just came from the airport.”

 

“The airport… the one that’s, like, two hours away?”

 

“That same one, yes,” Jungeun answers.

 

“Why… why my house?”

 

“I couldn’t go back to my place,”

 

“Why not?”

 

“It’s lonely,” Jungeun shrugs, “I haven’t been there long enough to decorate. I don’t have a tree up or lights up. I’ve been travelling nearly all year and I just…”

 

Jinsol waits.

 

Tired eyes stare down at the ground.

 

“I just needed someone to help me feel rooted.”

 

“And that someone… is  _ me _ ?” Jinsol raises an eyebrow.

 

“Yeah,” Jungeun mumbles, “it always has been.”

 

“Even after five years?” Jinsol asks. Her words aren’t laced with venom. They’re filled with genuine confusion and curiosity. Because, after all, Jungeun had been the one to leave  _ her _ .

 

“Yes,” Jungeun nods. She stands abruptly, “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I came here. You probably have people coming over or something and I—”

 

“Hey, wait,” Jinsol stands, too, stepping in front of Jungeun when she tries to walk away. Her tone is soft, “it’s fine, Jungeun. I… I don’t have any plans. It’s fine. You can stay.”

 

Jungeun’s eyebrows knit together, “Are you sure?”

 

And Jinsol… Jinsol’s still so in love with this girl.

 

“Yeah, I’m sure— _ hey _ , I was watching Christmas movies. You wanna watch with me?”

 

Jungeun smiles, nodding her head, “I’d like that a lot.”

 

-

 

It’s a lot less awkward now that they’re watching ‘Gremlins’ and cracking jokes every now and then.

 

Although there’s still that awkward space between them, it isn’t as large as it originally had been. 

 

And, when Jinsol’s stomach growls, Jungeun lets out a chuckle.

 

“Hungry?” she asks.

 

Jinsol nods, “I haven’t eaten since I woke up.”

 

“Then… let’s go make you some food?” Jungeun grins, getting up from the couch.

 

It shouldn’t feel so natural, but Jinsol follows Jungeun to the kitchen with a feeling in her stomach that says  _ this is how it’s supposed to be _ .

 

Jungeun opens Jinsol’s fridge and frowns.

 

“Yes, I know—” Jinsol tries to start off.

 

“All you have in here is  _ milk _ and a bunch of take-out boxes.”

 

“Yes… I know…” Jinsol grumbles.

 

Jungeun sucks her teeth, shaking her head. She manages to find some eggs and pulls four of them out, along with the milk carton.

 

“I’m judging you hard right now, Jinsol,” she says, making her way towards the stove.

 

Jinsol scrunches up her nose, “Hey! Don’t act like you don’t eat take-out!”

 

Jungeun gives her a pointed look, “I eat it because I’m on the move and don’t have time to go grocery shopping.  _ You _ , on the other hand…”

 

Jinsol crosses her arms, defensive, “ _ I _ don’t have time either…” her next words come out quieter than the last, “I’m always in my office…”

 

The younger girl hums, pulling out a bowl from the pantry and starting to whisk the eggs together, “How’s that going, by the way? Your company.”

 

“It’s going really good,” Jinsol says with a smile, “It’s a lot of work but… it’s going good.”

 

“That’s good,” Jungeun mumbles. 

 

Jinsol grabs the empty egg shells and tosses them into the trash, “How about you? How’s music production going for you?”

 

“Uh… it’s  _ going _ , I guess,” Jungeun replies, “where’s your salt?”

 

Jinsol walks over to her dining table and grabs the shaker, heading back and handing it to Jungeun, “Are you just making me scrambled eggs?”

 

“I’m making  _ us _ scrambled eggs,” Jungeun corrects her, “I haven’t eaten since my flight had taken off. And that was… a long time ago.”

 

Jinsol scoffs and leans back against the counter, watching Jungeun add milk to the eggs.

 

“It’s  _ still _ the only thing you can cook, isn’t it?”

 

Jungeun opens her mouth in offense, “ _ Hey! _ That’s not true!”

 

“It’s been, what? A little over ten years since I’ve known you? And the only thing you can make has been scrambled eggs?”

 

“I don’t want to hear  _ anything _ from you, Miss I-Can’t-Toast-Bread-Without-Burning-It,”

 

…

 

“That was a  _ low _ blow.”

 

-

 

They’ve been eating in silence for a few minutes, until Jungeun speaks up.

 

“Were you serious about not having plans today?” she asks.

 

Jinsol clears her throat, “Sort of,”

 

At the way Jungeun’s face falls, she’s quick to speak up again.

 

“I mean—the only plans I had were to go into the office and do paperwork! Really, those were the only plans I had…”

 

Jungeun frowns, “On Christmas? You were going to go to  _ work _ on Christmas?”

 

Jinsol shrugs, “I had nothing else to do. Jiwoo and Sooyoung offered to let me tag along but… I didn’t want to intrude on the love-birds.”

 

“Ah,” Jungeun says, nodding, “I see.”

 

“And you?” Jinsol questions, “What were your plans?”

 

“I didn’t have one aside from visiting you,” Jungeun admits.

 

“What if I had just turned you away? Closed the door on you?” Jinsol says with a smile, teasing.

 

Jungeun smiles, too, but hers is sadder.

 

“I know you wouldn’t have.”

 

“But what if?”

 

“Then,” Jungeun shrugs, “I would’ve gone back to my place and spent Christmas alone. It would’ve been just another day.”

 

“That’s…”

 

“Lonely,” Jungeun answers for her.

 

“Yeah,” Jinsol nods.

 

-

 

Jinsol pulls fluffy blankets and soft pillows from her bedroom to bring to the living room, tossing them onto the couch and watching as Jungeun’s face lights up and she grabs onto the blanket.

 

“Leave some of that blanket for me, won’t you?” Jinsol laughs as Jungeun wraps the thing around her shoulders.

 

“You snooze, you lose,” Jungeun replies as Jinsol sits down on the couch next to her. She’s closer now.

 

Jinsol lets out an amused chuckle, shaking her head as she grabs the TV remote.

 

As Jinsol’s scrolling through movies, Jungeun’s eyes focus on the presents beneath the tree.

 

“Aren’t you going to open them?” Jungeun asks, pointing to the gifts.

 

“Huh? Oh—those?” Jinsol shrugs, “My workers gave them to me. It’s probably just generic stuff…”

 

“You should still  _ open _ them,” Jungeun says, patting Jinsol’s knee, “come on.”

 

“Seriously?” Jinsol raises an eyebrow, watching Jungeun get up from the couch to sit on the floor in front of the tree.

 

“Yes,” Jungeun nods one, “come  _ on _ .”

 

“Fine,” Jinsol grumbles, joining Jungeun on the floor and grabbing one of the gifts.

 

It was a box of chocolates.

 

“I’m telling you—none of these are really sentimental,”

 

“At least we have chocolate to eat!”

 

_ We _ .

 

-

 

When Jinsol finishes opening the last gift (another box of chocolates), Jungeun clears her throat.

 

“I—uhm… I actually got something for you on my last trip,” Jungeun says, getting up to go to the coat rack and get something from inside her pockets. 

 

Jinsol widens her eyes, “You  _ did _ ? I—I didn’t get anything for you, though.”

 

Jungeun rolls her eyes, “Of course you didn’t get anything for me. You didn’t know I’d be here, you goof.”

 

She hands the small present to Jinsol.

 

“I found this in a shop I’d been in at the beginning of my travels… it reminded me of you—I guess it’s what made me  _ want _ to see you again in the first place,” she says, “open it.”

 

Jinsol’s careful as she unwraps the gift.

 

It’s a snowglobe designed to look like a fish bowl; a beautiful blue betta fish in the middle of it all.

 

“I know you had that betta fish when we were in college and you were really attached to her, so…”

 

The fish. Jungeun being there. The mention of  _ college _ …

 

It’s a whole wave of nostalgia that Jinsol’s hit with. She feels tears stinging her eyes and Jungeun panics.

 

“What’s wrong? I’m sorry—I can take it back—”

 

“No,” Jinsol shakes her head, sniffling, “I love it. I—”

 

_ I love  _ **_you_ ** _. _

 

She refrains.

 

“Thank you, Jungeun…”

 

“It’s nothing,” Jungeun whispers, wanting nothing more than to reach out and wipe Jinsol’s tears.

 

She refrains.

 

“It’s not nothing,” Jinsol mumbles, using the palm of her hands to wipe her cheeks, “it means a lot to me that… you thought of me.”

 

“I always do,” Jungeun admits quietly.

 

Jinsol looks up at her, eyes sharp, “What?”

 

Jungeun bites down on her lip nervously, “It’s been a shitty five years…”   
  
“Jungeun…” Jinsol says. There’s a warning edge to her voice.

 

“I know,” Jungeun shakes her head, “I’m just—”

 

“ _ You  _ left  _ me _ ,” Jinsol reminds her.

 

“I was stupid,” Jungeun says, “and insecure. And foolish. And—”

 

“And you left me,” Jinsol says once more.

 

“And I left you,” Jungeun repeats, nodding weakly, “I’m sorry.”

 

“For what?” Jinsol asks, feeling the hurt and anger and betrayal from all those years ago bubble up to the surface once more, “For leaving me?”

 

“For everything,” Jungeun says, her voice becoming more stable, “if I could go back and redo it, I would’ve never left you.”

 

“But you can’t,”

 

“I know I can’t,”

 

“So what now?”

 

“I… I don’t know,” Jungeun sighs, shaking her head.

 

… 

 

Jinsol stares at the love of her life through blurry, tear-filled vision.

 

“I don’t want to go through it again,” she says shakily, “I don’t want to let you break my heart again.”

 

The look on Jungeun’s face… Jinsol can best describe it as ‘shattered’.

 

“Jinsol…”

 

“When you told me you wanted to break up,” Jinsol starts off, “it felt like my whole world had come crashing down. It was so sudden—so  _ out of the blue _ —and I didn’t expect it. I mean—how could I have expected it? We were so happy together.”

 

“We were,” Jungeun agrees, “I’m so sorry, Jinsol, I swear—”

 

“Jiwoo and Sooyoung kept telling me that I deserved better than you,” Jinsol cuts her off.

 

Jungeun goes silent.

 

“And I believed them,” Jinsol says.

 

It’s like a jagged knife shreds through Jungeun’s heart.

 

Jinsol sets the snowglobe down carefully.

 

Jungeun gets up from the ground, taking that as her cue to leave.

 

“You do deserve better than me,” Jungeun whispers. That had been the reason she’d left Jinsol, after all.

 

“You didn’t let me finish,” Jinsol calls out as Jungeun heads to the door.

 

Jungeun pauses in her steps, trying hard not to break down then-and-there.

 

Jinsol lets out a shaky breath.

 

“Maybe they were right—maybe I  _ do _ deserve better than you,” her voice is getting closer as she takes careful steps towards Jungeun. Jinsol turns the younger girl around, and they both have tears staining their cheeks.

 

“But all I wanted… I just wanted  _ you _ .”

 

Jungeun breaks, and she lets out a choked sob.

 

Jinsol wraps the shorter girl into her arms and it’s  _ safe _ .

 

“I’m sorry,” Jungeun cries, “I’m so,  _ so _ sorry.”

 

Jinsol doesn’t say it’s okay, because it isn’t.

 

She tightens her hold on Jungeun and places a kiss on the side of the girl’s head.

 

Instead, she says:

 

_ “We’ll be okay.” _

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: @sxftmelody  
> curiouscat: @sxftmelody


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